Six Reasons to (finally) Start Therapy
It’s totally normal to be nervous to start therapy! This anxiety often causes us to push off going to therapy for months, maybe even years. I can’t tell you how many people come to me and say, “Okay, after years of pushing it off, I’m finally ready to give therapy a try.” If this sounds like you, you are certainly not alone! Starting therapy can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be. With the right therapist, you might find yourself saying, “Wow! I wish I would have started therapy years ago!”
If you’ve been on the fence about going to therapy, let’s talk about some reasons you may want to (finally) give therapy a try!
You know that thing you’ve been avoiding thinking or talking about?
It is human nature to want to avoid the things that make us uncomfortable, scared, sad, and worried. These emotions are often difficult for us to handle because many of us were never taught how to effectively manage them. When we don’t know what to do with them, we tend to avoid them. The problem with avoiding these difficult emotions is that it actually tends to make them even bigger! Let me give you an example.
Close your eyes…
Now whatever you do, do NOT think about a pink elephant. Whatever you do, just don’t picture a pink elephant in your mind. Don’t even think about the words “pink elephant.” Just don’t do it. You can think about anything else but a pink elephant. I need you to not have a single thought about a pink elephant.
Did you end up thinking about a pink elephant anyway? Most of us do. Whether we’re picturing one, thinking of the words “pink elephant,” or telling ourselves not to think about a pink elephant, it’s hard to not think of it. This is similar to how we might handle difficult emotions. Maybe you’ve said to yourself, “Okay, let me just not feel anxious today. Oh no, I started feeling anxious... This is bad. Why am I feeling so anxious?” Then the anxiety continues to build.
When you tell yourself not to do something, your brain spends so much time trying to avoid whatever it is, that it ultimately makes you think about that thing even more.
Therapy is a safe space where you can confront whatever you have been working so hard to avoid. Maybe the thing you’ve been avoiding is a difficult emotion, a traumatic experience, a painful memory, or a problem in your relationship. Whatever your “thing” is, you don’t have to avoid it anymore. Having a therapist can help you to acknowledge and confront these difficult things. Acknowledging the difficult “thing” can actually take its power away and you’re likely to find yourself thinking about it less and feeling better. These difficult things don’t have to hold power over you forever!
Life is not always rainbows and butterflies.
All of us experience various seasons of life. Some seasons may be joyful and pleasant. Some seasons may be effortless and fun. Unfortunately, life is not always rainbows and butterflies and we will also have seasons that may be difficult and sad. Some seasons may be scary and anxiety provoking. Whatever season of life you’re in, therapy can help!
Maybe you’ve been able to handle your problems on your own in the past but lately you feel like you’re going into a more challenging season of life. Maybe you’ve lost your job. Maybe you’re going through a break up. Maybe you’re struggling with infertility. Maybe you’ve experienced the death of a loved one.
Having a therapist in your corner during a difficult season of life can help you navigate whatever strong emotions you’re experiencing as a result of these changing seasons. Life events and transitions are difficult to manage, period. AND it’s even more challenging trying to manage them on your own.
Sometimes we are taught to “suck it up” and deal with whatever problems we have on our own. This mindset often keeps us isolated and hurting. Genuine connection and compassion are two of the building blocks to establish a foundation for the life we really want. A good therapist will hold space for whatever season of life you’re going through and will help you navigate it in a way that feels compassionate and authentic to your values.
Lastly, some people become worried about the timeline that they will be in therapy. It’s important to know that starting therapy does not mean that you will need to be in therapy forever, especially if you are coming to therapy for a specific season of life. While some people may be in therapy for years, some people experience the benefits of therapy within a few short months. There is no one-size-fits-all timeline for therapy. You will collaborate with your therapist to figure out the best treatment plan for you!
Therapy can be the key to self-exploration and self-growth.
As mentioned above, therapy can be helpful for any season of life. Maybe you don’t actually have a significant life event going on. Maybe instead, you’re finally ready to really get to know yourself. Therapy can provide you with a safe space to get to know yourself like you never have before.
In the United States, we are often incredibly disconnected from ourselves. Between hustle culture, social media and technology, and the desire to “keep up with the Joneses,” we are often left with only knowing the outermost shells of ourselves. Let’s also face it, when we’re worrying about the pandemic, threats to human rights, climate change, and inflation (just to name a few), self-exploration tends to fall pretty low on our to-do list.
And yet, self-exploration and self-growth are incredibly important for many reasons! First, when we don’t know ourselves we often feel lost and/or stuck. When we get to know ourselves better, we learn what our values are and what is important to us, both of which can help give our lives meaning and purpose. Secondly, getting to know ourselves better allows us to create healthy relationships while maintaining the ones that serve us.
Next, we unfortunately live in a world that tells you who you “should” and “should not” be. We are often placed in very stringent boxes that dictate what we do, what we like, and ultimately how we feel about ourselves. Therapy can be a great place to unpack the boxes and expectations that you were shoved into. Maybe these boxes include your profession. Maybe these boxes include your gender and/or sexuality. Maybe these boxes included navigating an ableist world while having a disability, or navigating a racist world while being a BIPOC individual.
In a world that is so ready to tell you who you “should” or “should not” be, therapy gives you the space to discover your most authentic self. Not only do you get to discover your most authentic self, but hopefully you come to accept and even celebrate your most authentic self! Living your life authentically also helps give your life meaning and purpose and can help you attract people in your life who love and appreciate the authentic you.
Lastly, therapy can be used for self-growth. Perhaps you do know yourself pretty well and you have recognized some habits that you would like to change. Exploring these patterns can allow you to understand what does and does not serve you and you can begin implementing changes that you would like to see. Perhaps you realize that you are incredibly self-critical, that you always pick toxic partners, or that you have difficulties sustaining friendships. Whatever it may be, therapy can provide you with the space, insights, and skills necessary to grow into the person you’d like to be!
Relationships are hard!
Let me just put a little emphasis here that relationships are freaking hard sometimes! Whether it’s the relationships you have with your family of origin, friends, partners, or work colleagues, navigating relationships can be difficult.
We are often taught how to show up in relationships by the people who modeled them for us early on -our caregivers. Did your parents fight and yell at each other? Maybe you never saw them fighting or talking about difficult topics. Were your caregivers compassionate and warm or were they passive aggressive and hurtful?
Whatever was modeled for you often provides the lens for which you show up in your own relationships now. AND that does not mean that you have to keep these patterns forever! Going to therapy can help you gain insight into your relationship patterns, become an effective communicator, strengthen your connections with others and set boundaries as needed.Individual and couples therapy can help your relationships depending on what it is you’re looking for. You and your therapist will discover what the root issues are in your relationship(s) and will collaborate on a plan to make the changes necessary so that you can have meaningful connections and fulfilling relationships with others.
Maybe you just need some coping skills.
Maybe you know exactly what the issue you have going on is and if you just knew some coping skills you would be able to handle it. Or maybe the coping skills you’ve always used just aren’t cutting it anymore. Either way, therapy is a great place to learn coping skills to help you handle any situation you’re facing.
Remember that avoidance we talked about? Instead of learning coping skills to manage difficult situations, we often learn to try to avoid them instead. Which again, usually ends up making the difficult situations even bigger and even more difficult. Sometimes all we really need is for someone to teach us about coping skills and help us to begin using them!
There are coping skills that can help with a myriad of different concerns including:
Anxiety
Panic Attacks
Depression
ADHD
OCD
Grief
Stress
Burnout
Emotion Regulation
Distress Tolerance
Mindfulness
Body Image Concerns
Gender Dysphoria
Negative Thoughts
Self-Criticism
Perfectionism
Life Transitions
These are only a few issues that coping skills can help with. Whatever you need coping skills for, therapy can help you find ones that are effective for you! You and your therapist can try different types of coping skills to see what works best for you. Discussing coping skills with a therapist is also a great way to hold yourself accountable to actually implementing these coping skills in your day-to-day life.
You deserve to have the life you want!
There are so many reasons why people decide to (finally) start therapy. Maybe the reason you’ve been thinking of isn’t even on this list. Whatever your reason for seeking therapy is totally valid and important!
Therapy is certainly not always easy AND having a good therapist who can help you work towards the life you want is always worth it! How long have you been dissatisfied with your life? Wouldn’t you like to live your most authentic and fulfilling life? Wouldn’t you like to wake up and feel gratitude and joy for the life you have? Therapy can help you work towards that!
I know starting therapy can feel scary AND if we choose to stop avoiding it maybe it won’t actually be so scary after all! If there’s something that has quietly nudged you (or maybe it’s even screamed at you) to start therapy over the last weeks, months, or years, then maybe you owe it to yourself to see what therapy can do for you!
Regardless of who you are or what your life has been so far, you deserve to have the life you want!
